February 15, 2021
Maybe it’s time for a support group in New York?
So, COVID happened.
And is still happening. Just about everyone on the planet was impacted by it. Some of us had to work from home and stay away from our office. Others still had to go into work, despite the danger that this put on us. So, depending on your situation, you could be seeing your spouse all the time or not enough. For those of us who are working at home with their spouse, they might not sound bad. You can see each other more and both be at home together more. On the surface, this sounds wonderful-right? Unfortunately, it doesn’t always play out that way. Before you know it, you’re at each other’s necks because you’re sick of them!
Aside from work, there were other big changes.
Schools sent our kiddos back home and tried remote learning. There were definitely some pros and cons with that one. And, a learning curve for some of us- no pun intended. On top of that, your kids stopped leaving. No more sleepovers, no more taking the kids to the grandparent’s. They’re just always home. There’s no escape. Yes, you love your kids. And, you love having some breaks from them. You find yourself snapping at them over everything. Most of the time, things that you never used to. But, you just feel so on edge!
You’re pretty much at the end of your rope.
This has been really tough. This is really tough. And, by the rate that things are going, this will continue to be very rough. You’re one person, but it feels like you’re taking on enough for a small village. Everything pushes you over the edge. Your patience is not existent. Do you keep wondering how you’re going to continue going with things like this?
You really can’t catch a break.
Even with all of this madness going on, there is a stressor that weighs more heavily on you than the rest: your partner. Even though you’re both having to manage this situation, for some reason it’s more of YOUR responsibility. Sure, you’re used to taking care of the kids and the house. You’re used to living life as a balancing act. But these circumstances are much different, and much more difficult. But you’re an adult. You figure it out, or you’re trying to. Because that’s what you do, right? That’s what your partner should do too, right?
Your partner has somehow digressed to acting like a toddler. Constantly needing you. Constantly floundering because “they need help.” Like you don’t? Like you haven’t needed help this entire time? And, like you have all of the answers? Sure, there are always things that you’ve been more resourceful for. And yes, there’s usually been some kind of give and take with it. But now, that balance is gone. Give and take is a thing of the past. You’re responsible for everything. Helping the kids with school, taking care of the house, your job, and now- taking care of your partner too??
It feels like there’s no escape
With everyone home so much, there’s no way to get away from it all. On top of that, it feels like you can’t do the things that you used to cope with your stress. Meeting regularly with your girlfriends isn’t really an option right now. And when you do talk to them, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Yes, they’re supportive. But, it doesn’t really help as much as it used to. Your ‘old tricks’ really aren’t working anymore. You’re exhausted. You feel like you can’t win. No matter what you do, there’s no break. Nothing ever lightens up.
But what if there’s something that could help? Like a support group?
What if there’s something that could help? Maybe talking to a group of people who are dealing with the same thing you are right now could somehow get together. Be in the same space, likely virtually, and talk about how things are going. Perhaps talking through these situations with someone who gets paid to help people deal with the craziness that happens in their life. And, maybe teach you skills to help you deal with this stress in a healthy way. It could be really great. Getting to know a group of people just like you struggling with the same problems you are. And, for some, struggling with completely different problems. Wouldn’t it be nice to hear about something completely outside of your situation? Maybe hearing about someone who has a different dynamic in their household. You could learn something from them, and they could learn something from you.
You’re wondering if a support group would be a good option.
From what you’ve heard, support groups can be pretty helpful. And maybe it could be helpful for your situation. Of course, you don’t know what this will look like. But, it still sounds intriguing. Being part of a support group with people similar to you could be very helpful. And, a support group could give you a perspective that you haven’t considered before. Hey, maybe joining this support group will be great!
If this sounds interesting, we might have something for you.
Maybe you don’t have to do this alone. Maybe you could join a group and get to know someone else dealing with similar things that you are. We are offering a group for women to help them navigate the stressful situations that they’re experiencing. And, teach them skills to actually get through the crazy time in a healthy, sustainable way. If you’ve read this far, you’d be a great fit. To learn more about our New York-based online therapy group, follow these steps:
- Reach out to me.
- Get to know me, Deborah Karnbad, as your new counselor.
- Get through 2021 with support!