December 12, 2020

Couples in NY During COVID: Too much and not enough

COVID-19 has impacted our lives in many different ways. A big portion of our lives that has been impacted by COVID is our relationships. We’re likely seeing our friends much less than we used to. If we do the interactions, probably feel much different. Because of this, our cups are pretty empty. As a result, we often lean on the people around us to fill our cups. For most of us right now, it’s the person we’re in a relationship with. While this initially doesn’t sound too bad, it’s not beneficial for couples overall. As an online marriage counselor in Forest Hills, NY, and all of New York, I have seen common themes of the impact COVID is having on couples.

Here a few themes that I have noticed since offering online marriage counseling in New York.

A couple sits away from each other on a bench. They are looking forward to starting online marriage counseling in New York with Deborah Karnbad 11375.

Expecting Your Partner To Be Your Everything

Throughout my years of experience providing marriage counseling in Forest Hills, NY this theme has always been present. And, it’s present in the world of online marriage counseling. We live in a society that promotes the notion that your partner has to be the person that satisfies every interaction need to have with others. But, this just isn’t realistic. Assigning your partner the responsibility of filling every role of interaction in your life is too much pressure to put on one person. As an online marriage counselor in Forest Hills, NY, I’ve seen this happen time and time again. Think about the saying, “you can’t be everything to everyone.” This definitely fits. Applying this idea to our relationships is a big part of online marriage counseling.

Seeing Each Other Too Much

For most couples I’ve worked with through online marriage counseling in New York, some aspects of their individual lives overlap with each other. Often, this can be activities we enjoy, a shared group of friends, having ‘a show’ to watch together, and similar routines. Of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with these activities overlapping each other. This usually means that we spend a lot of time with our partners. Which, again, isn’t inherently wrong. However, what happens when we start to spend too much together?

As a Marriage Counselor in New York, I’ve Seen This in Real-Time

As an experienced online marriage counselor, I can tell you that the outcome is not always beneficial. Spending too much time with our partner doesn’t always work out well for us. Everything is under a microscope. All of those things that might have been endearing in the past are extremely annoying now. This has been a sobering fact in online marriage counseling throughout the state of New York. Unfortunately, COVID has exacerbated the frustration for many couples. We used to have some things that were “hidden” from our partners. I’m not talking about huge things, but now we’re a completely open book. You don’t have the same outlets you used to have for coping and venting, so your spouse or partner gets all of it.

In fact, now most people are home more frequently during the work-week. Business trips are a thing of the past. The “working lunch” means you heat something up or go to the door and then back to your desk. So, we don’t have the outlet of leaving the house for work to give us some space. Being around each other this much can start to make you feel irritated by everything and anything your partner does. Again, another theme I’ve seen as an online marriage counselor. You don’t mean to ‘nag’ or ‘pick’, but you find yourself getting so frustrated that you can’t help it! This likely leads to more arguments that you don’t want to have. Many couples who have started online marriage counseling in Forest Hills, NY are currently struggling with this. And, it’s proving to be quite the issue.

A girl sits on a bench looking upset. She is looking forward to starting online marriage counseling in New York with Deborah Karnbad.

Some Couples Aren’t Seeing Each Other Enough

But, what about the couples that are in a long-distance relationship? Are they excused from this struggle? The long-distance couples I worked with through online marriage counseling in New York are dealing with the inverse of this problem. Due to safety restrictions, many of us are traveling less. For those of us that travel to see our partners, this means that we’re probably seeing our partners much less than we used to. And, this can add additional stress on top of the stress we’re under while living through a pandemic. As an online marriage counselor in New York, I have seen the strain this can have on couples. Online marriage counseling often serves as a place for these couples really address the issues they’re experiencing.

Don’t Forget About the Unmarried Couples!

Ah yes, the couples who aren’t married yet seeking online premarital counseling in New York. Some couples have had to make some tough decisions this year. For some, they have had to cancel their wedding. Or, their wedding looked quite a bit different than they wanted it to. In premarital counseling, we’ve taken the opportunity to really explore the impact this is having. Not surprisingly, this has had a large impact on the couples who have started online premarital counseling. The new normal is either an extended courtship or an extended “honeymoon” period of the relationship. Either way, it’s not what you expected.

Any Added Pressure From COVID Can Push You to the Breaking Point

A girl sits at a desk looking frustrated. She is looking forward to starting online marriage counseling in New York with Deborah Karnbad 11375.

It’s fair to say that most of us are having some kind of impact from COVID. For some, it has been incredibly life-altering. For others, it’s served as a mild inconvenience. Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, you’ve at least had a little bit of an impact from the pandemic. Work stress can feel inescapable.  Healthy anxiety from the fear of contracting COVID and maybe a little social anxiety, too. In addition, there’s a good chance you’re feeling a little depressed. Overall is beginning to take its toll. This added stress can leak into other areas of your life, especially your relationship. During sessions for marriage counseling in Forest Hills, NY, I’m intentional about helping couples acknowledge this fact. Whether or not we like to admit it, some of us have a hard time controlling how we’re impacted by stress. Too often, it shows up in our relationships.

As An Online Marriage Counselor, I Can Help!

As an experienced marriage counselor in Forest Hills, NY, I have worked with many couples navigating the problems that you are currently dealing with. Starting online marriage counseling can help you learn to navigate life as a couple during a pandemic. I get it. There’s a lot of pressure right now. Lots of things are out of your control and it feels overwhelming. While online marriage counseling might not eliminate the stress you’re feeling, it can give you tools to better navigate it. Through online marriage counseling, you can learn skills to better communicate with your partner. In addition, there are many benefits to working with an online marriage counselor. Online marriage counseling offers you more freedom than traditional marriage counseling. Regardless of where you live in the state, we can work together through online marriage counseling.

The Next Step For Online Marriage Counseling in New York

A couple smiles in front of their house. They are feeling happy after starting online marriage counseling in New York with Deborah Karnbad 11375

Starting online counseling in New York can help you and your partner navigate the issues you’re experiencing. Online marriage counseling can help you to incorporate the skills so you and your partner can improve your communication. And, hopefully, lower your stress a little bit. As an online marriage counselor, I am well-equipped and trained to help you through this tough time. When you’re ready to work with me, follow these steps:

  1. Call to schedule an appointment and let me know what’s going on.
  2. Get to know me as your new online therapist.
  3. Feel a little less overwhelmed and more like yourself again

Other Services Offered in New York

I offer many services through online therapy in New York, as my Forest Hills counseling clinic is closed. For couples, I offer premarital counseling and marriage counseling. For individuals, I can help with anxiety therapy, depression counseling, counseling for stress management, and online therapy for college students. In addition, I often work with parents and step-parents. Let’s talk soon. You’re worth it.


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