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Deborah Karnbad | Psychotherapy

We don’t really connect anymore.

Lately, we’ve been fighting a lot.

We’re realizing that we’re avoiding each other.

Our relationship just doesn’t feel good anymore.

If This Sounds Like Your Relationship, It Could Be Time for Couples Therapy

When couples come to my office for marriage counseling, they are angry and frustrated. This often equals emotional pain. They see their partner as the “cause of their pain, as “the problem” in the relationship. I am sure you have heard of the expression, “it takes two to tango.” Each partner is responsible for what they bring to the relationship. What they bring may be causing difficulties. Often, this has pushed them to pursue marriage counseling. ( I want to be clear, I am not addressing domestic violence cases).

Why Couples Pursue Marriage Counseling

Most couples come to marriage counseling because their relationship has taken a turn. It is not what they thought “it would be.” In other words, “the honeymoon is over.” SO, couples are overwhelmed and preoccupied with blaming and complaining. It’s not uncommon to come to therapy in hopes of changing their partners.

My Approach to Couples Therapy in Forest Hills, NY

My approach when providing marriage counseling is “system centered oriented.” I look at the “system” the patterns that have developed. Over time, both partners have interfered with their ability to communicate effectively. Once these patterns develop, they influence the relationship more than the individuals do! Seeing these patterns helps individuals “work together.” This can change the dynamics of “the system", or relationship.

Systems Centered Oriented Approach to Marriage Counseling

In marriage counseling, I introduce this model from the very beginning of the treatment. This helps immediately to shift the energy away from complaining and blaming.
First, it is important to restore the memory of pleasure couples once had together. The climate in the session will usually change from neutral or negative to positive. To be clear, this is the natural progression in marriage counseling. Then, the couple can take the next steps in thinking about their relationship as a “system.”
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A woman is punching her spouse in the face wearing boxing gloves. Both are exaggerating the interaction. Regardless, it seems that it's time for this couple to pursue couples therapy or marriage counseling in Forest Hills, NY with marriage counselor Deborah Karnbad.
A couple is arguing as the woman walks away from her partner. They have decided it's time to pursue couples therapy or marriage counseling in Forest Hills, NY with marriage counselor Deborah Karnbad.
A couple laughs together on the beach after couples therapy with an expert marriage counselor. They are happy with their decision to pursue marriage counseling in Forest Hills, NY with marriage counselor Deborah Karnbad.

 

My Role as a Marriage Counselor in New York

This is when it becomes easier for me (the marriage counselor) to help the couple “get curious.” We look at the roles and patterns they have developed over time. Therefore, this has been keeping them out of “their original loving relationship."

Importance of Communication in Couples Therapy

The first step is for couples to “see the system." It is much easier for couples to begin to use different communication patterns. This helps the “system” to develop even further. So, by teaching couples new communication behaviors, they become closer and more in tune. Then, they begin to really listen, rather than just react. This is one of the beautiful outcomes of marriage counseling. Listening to each other without blaming or complaining helps couples solve problems. This is often something they never thought they could do when they first arrived in my office. If you would like to learn more about the fundamentals of communication, explore this article outlining the basics of communication in intimate relationships that are helpful when looking into marriage counseling.

What I Have Learned in my Experience as a Marriage Counselor

I have been providing marriage counseling for over 30 years. Thankfully, I have seen successful improvements in relationships. Watching them grow and thrive has been my passion. Often times we react without being mindful of ourselves and how we communicate. By not being aware of how we “authentically” feel and think, we REACT in ways that hurt us and our relationships. However, through the use of mindfulness techniques, you will learn to use your own “personal energy.” Also, you will adopt new ways to communicate to and with your partner. This, in turn, will improve your relationship. Altogether, these are the possible benefits of pursuing marriage counseling.

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Starting Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy in Forest Hills, NY

If you’ve gotten to this point on the page, it’s probably safe to assume you’re interested in starting marriage counseling. I understand that taking this step is really scary.  It’s a vulnerable place to be. Fortunately, I’m here to help. When you’re ready to improve your relationship with marriage counseling, follow these steps:

  1. Contact me to set up a free consultation call. 
  2. Get to know me, Deborah, as your new marriage counselor.
  3. Begin the path towards a happy relationship.

Other Counseling Services Provided in Forest Hills, NY

Marriage counseling isn’t the only service I offer. In my Forest Hills counseling clinic, I can provide a variety of services. In addition, I offer my services through online therapy. I use a unique approach in individual counseling. Additionally, I provide trauma therapy, grief counseling, and therapy for stress management. To address the unique barriers of joining a new family, I provide counseling for step parents.  Whatever you’re going through, I’m here to provide you support.